Deep Conversation Over A Vanilla Pear Foot Rub

I have lovely memories of evenings spent with my mom and sister. My mom would wash our feet, and put lotion on them to keep them soft. We would talk about things that were important to us, share stories and memories, mom would tell us about her childhood.

Tonight as I was helping the boys get ready for bed, I noticed their feet were a little dirty, so I offered to wash them and put some lotion on them. It turned into a fun little time to chat with them. Then they started asking some important questions, and I have to admit I was a little stumped. It started out innocently enough, with Drew asking, "Where did I get my police helicopter from?" I told him he got it from Santa.

Then Drew asked me, "Where did you get me from?" Uhh... I told him he came from my belly. He asked, "How did I get out?" I told him he and Owen grew in there and when they were big enough, I went to the hospital and the doctor opened up my belly and took them out and sewed me back up. (That's one nice thing about having had a c-section; I really don't know how I would have explained a regular delivery to a four year old...)

Drew thought that sounded pretty funny. He said, "Guess how I got you?" Then he told me, "You were in my belly and I went to the hospital and they cut me up and took you out and then they sewed me up and gave me some medicine." And he laughed like it was the funniest thing ever. I guess I'm glad he thought it was funny and not scary.

I want my kids to feel like they can always talk to me, and ask me anything. And I want to always be forthcoming with my answers. Hopefully this is a good start.

Christmas '09, With Photos from My Camera Phone

We had a great Christmas! I got my present a month or so ago; a new vacuum that actually sucks, doesn't get stinky after I vacuum up a ton of dog hair, and I don't have to change the bag and clean out the hose after each time I vacuum the house. Yay! David also got himself a present; he's going to the NCAA Sweet Sixteen in March. (I decided I'm all basketballed out, especially since we still have two more Jazz games lined up in January and March, so I won't be going to the NCAA games, but I plan on going down to Salt Lake to hang out.) So it was basically Christmas for the Kids at our house this year.

We started out the festivities with David saying, "Can you make some cookies? I need to do my home teaching." As if you can't go home teaching in December without cookies in hand. (You totally can!) But I made a couple batches of sugar cookies anyway, and we handed them out to neighbors and the families David visits. Drew was especially excited:

The kids each only had one item on their lists for Santa. Drew wanted a police helicopter, Owen wanted an ice cream truck, and Samantha wanted a spider. She is still confused about the holidays, and is remembering what she dressed as for Halloween. We also gave the boys ten bucks they could spend on presents for their other siblings. We never really got around to taking Samantha to buy anything for her brothers, but I don't think any of the kids noticed. So Owen got Drew a Mater the Greater toy and got Samantha a pocked-sized Strawberry Shortcake doll. When Owen and I got home from shopping, Owen asked Drew, "What do you want for Christmas, Drew?" I don't know what Drew told Owen, but then Owen started yelling, "No you don't! You want a Mater!" After David and Drew got home from their shop-for-the-siblings trip, Drew came running into the kitchen yelling, "Look what I got you, Owen!" Luckily, Owen didn't get a chance to look before David grabbed Drew and whisked him upstairs to wrap the gift. After that, whenever someone asked one of the boys about a present, no matter who it was for, they would answer, "It's a secret."

Drew got his police helicopter. He loves it!

Owen got his Ice cream truck (which was harder to find than I anticipated) in the form of Skids and Mudflap, from Transformers 2. He has only seen bits and pieces of the movie, and only because he kept sneaking into the room while we were watching it at a friend's house, and while he was supposed to be playing in the toy room with the other kids. He likes his Transformer, but doesn't know how to make it transform. So we keep it in ice cream truck mode and he plays with it that way. He also got an ice cream truck from Grandma and Grandpa Canfield, who took some trucks with trailers and put ice cream stickers all over them. He likes those a lot, too. (I don't have any pictures of him with any of his new toys.)

Samantha was so hard to shop for! She doesn't really play with dolls, and we decided there are far too many planes, trains and automobiles in our house, so we didn't get her any of those, either. We ended up getting a play kitchen for the kids to share and, so Samantha would have something to unwrap, we got some accessories for the kitchen--extra pans, and utensils and things. We shouldn't have worried about it, because the poor girl was too overwhelmed to unwrap anything. She ran into the kitchen and sat at the table with her chin in her hands. Every now and then, the boys would bring her something to unwrap, and she'd oblige, then put her chin back on her hands. She does love the play kitchen, though. All the kids do. This morning I was feeling a bit under the weather, so the kids went downstairs to the play kitchen and made me some "tea" with "gumdrops" (what Drew calls cough drops) in it. Obviously a miniature plastic cup full of air didn't cure anything, but it cheered me up.

We celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. The kids woke up and we had everything ready and under the tree. Grandma and Grandpa Canfield came over with loads of presents, and the boys had loads of fun unwrapping, and ooh-ing and ahh-ing over everything. I scored some new microfiber sheets, a wok, and a book about hair that I've been wanting to read for a while. As a totally unexpected surprise, David and the kids got me a necklace from a friend of mine who has opened up a small jewelry business. I got the cluster one listed first on the blog, but mine is grey, which will go with a lot more of my outfits.

On Christmas day, the kids and I headed down to Utah to celebrate with my side of the family. David had to work, so he couldn't come with us. We had a little Christmas party and gift exchange at my mom's house that was tons of fun. The kids and I stayed the night there, then the next day we headed down to Salt Lake to meet up with my good friend Noi who is from Thailand. I have to be honest: this was my one of my favorite Christmas presents ever. I hadn't seen Noi for almost six years, so I was so excited all week long. We met up at the visitors center at the temple, then we went out for some Thai food, then we just hung out and chatted and enjoyed each other's company. My kids love their "Aunt" Noi, and had a great time looking at the water fountains around Temple Square and the Conference center, and riding the escalators at the store (we had to go to Sears to get coats; I'd been needing a new one for a while, and we had left Samantha's coat at home, but she was growing out of it anyway so I justified buying her a new one, too. And Sears had great sales going on that day!).

Later we met up with a few other missionaries that served in Thailand, and we took a tour of the Conference center and walked around Temple Square some more to admire the lights. The grounds were absolutely beautiful! And it was fun to walk around with people I hadn't seen for a while and reconnect with them.

I loved the pool on the East side of the temple. I've taken various pictures here on various occasions, and it's always beautiful, but this time they had set up a nativity scene around the pool, with the main feature (Joseph, Mary and the baby Jesus) in the center of the pool. So pretty!

Between the temple and the tabernacle, were bright red and orange lights on every branch of every tree. It was so bright! I felt like I had to squint all the time. But it was still very beautiful.

2009 was a good year. Even though my age is an even number, the year was an odd number, so it was all good. Hopefully I can make it through the first six-and-a-half months of 2010, which will be an even numbered year, and my age will still be even numbered. I've got high hopes, though!

My New Favorite Christmas Carol

I have listened to this song probably 10 times since I "discovered" it the other day. It's called "Come Darkness Come Light" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. It was on a play list that a friend of mine shared on her Facebook page. I couldn't figure out how to embed just a song (is there such a site as YouAudio or something?), so I tried to find a YouTube video for it and it came up with the following:

Kinda random picture, but feel free to open another browser window and do something else while you listen to this beautiful song.

Some Holiday Gift Ideas

New Holiday Fun

I saw an ad for a new Christmas Special that aired last night on ABC. I wasn't able to watch it when it aired, but I did find it on hulu.com. It's called Prep & Landing, and it's about the elves who get the houses ready for Santa to bring presents to. I thought it was such a cute show, so I watched it with Drew and Owen, who have enjoyed it so much they've watched it three times since. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out at here at hulu, or here at disney. It's just a half-hour special (23 minues, really, since there are only short commercial breaks on these websites). I really hope they make some more episodes, or make a feature length film.

Before I Forget: A Little Story I Can Use as Blackmail...

(If booger-talk grosses you out, don't read this)

I had an interesting conversation with Owen at bedtime. It all started with a piece of green fuzz from a blanket. The fuzz was sitting on Owen's shoulder, so I picked it off and said, "Hey Owen, there's a booger on you." A really perturbed look crossed his face, like he was about to cry. I told him, "I'm just teasing, Owen. It's only a piece of fuzz. Are you that scared of boogers?" Owen told me he was. The following exchange ensued:

Owen: I'm scared of Drew's boogers.

Me: Do you come in contact with Drew's boogers that much?

Owen: Drew puts boogers on my head.

Me: What?!

Owen: When he laughs. He gets boogers on my head.

Me: What?!

Owen: But I just put them back in his nose.

Me: That is just gross, Owen. You shouldn't put your finger in other peoples' noses.

Owen: [laughs] I don't put my finger in his nose! I put his boogers in his nose!

Poor Drew was fast asleep and unable to defend himself.

I Want My Six-Pack Back

I've been getting up early lately. I won't say what time, because I know most of you get up earlier than that every day. But I don't usually get up until later in the morning, so it's early for me. Especially since I haven't been going to bed all that much earlier.

I've been getting up early so I can work out. My friend and I had been running a few mornings a week, but we feel like we're not just equipped to run in barely-above-zero temperatures. Also, we felt like we wanted to work out more often than just three times a week, which is about all I could do with David's work schedule. But my friend doesn't want to run every single day because she gets to skinny. Seriously; she has a really fast metabolism (I wish I had that problem), and she's already pretty thin.

We decided we would work out inside. I have some exercise DVDs that I purchased a couple years ago, and some that I inherited from various sources. So on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, we do aerobics with Kathy Smith. On Tuesdays and Thursdays we do Pilates with Denise Austin. We're only on week two, but I feel great! It's nice to have my muscles feel a little sore and it's really nice to be exercising inside and out of the cold.

We have plans to switch up our workouts, too. Today, for instance, we learned a couple break dancing moves before we started aerobics (I also have an instructional DVD for break dancing). We're going to learn new ones every aerobics day. We're also going to check out other DVDs from the library. I really want to sweat with Richard Simmons and the Oldies. I don't know what kind of workout it will be, since I think I don't really fit the target demographic for those videos, but it would be fun to try it out.

I really want to find the work out videos we used to exercise with in middle school gym class. They involved a girl with a massive ponytail and two other people, who were apparently interchangeable--they were different people every time. I liked the videos because even though each of the instructors was doing the same workout, they were doing different intensities. So not only could I pick how strenuously I worked out, it was also really fun to watch whoever was doing the most intense version. They always looked slightly ridiculous.

Even though I love working out (and it's especially fun to work out with a good friend), I really miss having six-pack abs with little to no effort. Those were the days...

Christmas Wishes

We went to see Santa at the mall yesterday. The boys were so excited--until we got there. Drew decided he didn't want to sit on Santa's lap. Neither did Samantha. Owen sat on Santa's lap, but he looked really nervous the whole time. He told Santa he wants and ice cream truck and a dump truck for Christmas.

I held Samantha while Santa talked to her. She told him she wants a spider for Christmas. I think she has her holidays mixed up. She remembers being a spider for Halloween, so that's now what she wants for Christmas. I hope Santa just brings her a doll like he mentioned.

Drew hid behind my legs and peeked out long enough to tell Santa he wants a police helicopter for Christmas. Santa asked Drew what else he wanted, and Drew looked around for a minute (to get some ideas, I guess) and finally decided he wants a toy reindeer. Santa told Drew, "Do you know I have real reindeer?" And Drew said, "Yes. Reindeer can fly. They pull your sleigh so all the kids can have toys." Santa looked pretty impressed.

When we were getting the boys ready for bed, David asked Drew why he didn't want to sit on Santa's lap. Drew told him, "I guess I'm just shy." He's pretty talkative for a shy-guy.

Free Range?

I was watching Penn & Teller's HBO program on Netflix recently (since we no longer have HBO in our house--I have to remind myself it's for the best). The premise of the show is that they go around and debunk popular myths, like aliens/UFOs, and colon cleansing diets to prevent cancer (they were talking about the extreme stuff like ingesting only cayenne and grapefruit juice all day for a month).

In the episode I watched online they took on the "Helicopter Parent" along with Things We Tell Our Kids. They covered things like "If you go swimming right after eating you could drown." The doctor they talked to said that swimming after eating is only dangerous if you don't know how to swim. They talked about the parent who follows within 18 inches of her child in case he falls off the monkey bars, so she'll be there to catch him. (That's only a little bit of an exaggeration; about two days after I watched this episode, I witnessed one of these ladies in person at the playground. She seriously followed her daughter around the entire playground. She was even hovering around other people's kids. She made a couple movements toward Samantha, who hates being helped on the playground, and who was at that moment standing on the edge of the jungle gym watching Owen climb up a ladder. The lady was driving me nuts; I can't imagine how her eight year old daughter felt.) Not that helicopter parents are always moms, just the one I saw was...

Penn and Teller also spoke with Lenore Skenazy, a lady who let her nine year old son, Izzy (isn't Izzy Skenazy the most awesome name ever?) ride the subway in New York City. By himself. I was fascinated with this lady. I mean, I don't think I'd let my nine year old ride the subway on his own--that seems a bit young to me--but I appreciated that she had prepared her son; she'd been on the subway with him countless times, she'd given him advice on what to do in an emergency. She'd given him maps and directions on how to get where he was going. Then she let him go.

So now there seems to be this movement toward "Free Range Parenting," as Skenazy calls it. She even has a website devoted to it. A couple weeks ago, I got one of my periodic emails from WebMD. It contained a link to an article on "The New Hands-off Approach to Raising Kids."

Yesterday at the grocery store, this cover of Time Magazine caught my eye. I'm too cheap to actually buy a magazine, so I went home and looked up the article, The Case Against Overparenting, online. I highly recommend reading it. Even if all you do is skip to page four and read the conclusion, which just reiterates teaching your kids, then letting them put it into practice, and letting them learn from any mistakes.

The thing that really gets me is that this "new movement" really isn't that new. I feel like my own mom was a free-range parent. She taught my siblings and me how to behave, taught us right from wrong, then she let us practice on our own. It allowed me to develop self confidence, and learn from my own mistakes. And it was fun. I love reminiscing with my siblings about things we did when we were younger, and adventures we had. And I love it when my mom pipes in with "Where was I?" Who knows? But looking back, it doesn't really matter, because it allowed my siblings and me to create our own pickles and work through them.

After reading all the articles on "overparenting" and "free-range parenting" I've come to the conclusion that I am more of a free-range parent. Not that I let my kids run amok (okay, sometimes I do), but I give them lots of time to play and imagine. I'm usually nearby somewhere, because at their age, I can't really trust them to not break things, but I don't dictate their play. The can do pretty much whatever they want for this time. Sometimes it's hard to stand back. They get into quarrels over toys, but I've been trying to get them to work it out amongst themselves. If Drew comes whining to me, "Mom! Owen took my toy!" I tell him,
"Go talk to Owen about it." I just feel like, at this point, I've told them time and time again, We don't take other people's things without asking. It's time to let them practice it. They're getting better at it. Owen is usually the one who tattles, and it drives me crazy. But we're working on it.

There are rewarding moments, like when the kids are all playing together and I hear something similar to the following:

Owen: Would you like some cookies that I made?

Drew: Yes, please.

Samantha: Peease!

Drew: Here, Samantha, you can have two.

Samantha: Theek-oou.

Owen: You're welcome. That is two tickets, please. [Tickets are their currency.]

Who Woulda Thought?

I have memories in my brain of slumping down in a kitchen chair, being anywhere from nine to fourteen years of age, plunking my head down onto the table and wailing, "Why do I have to learn this? Cooking is such a pain!" My always-patient Mother probably said something like, "You'll want to eat when you grow up and move out, so you'll need these skills." There were similar episodes involving sewing, ironing and other "boring" household chores.

Turns out I learned to cook anyway, mostly because of my mom's incredible patience, and also partly because of a job I had when I got out of high school as a short order cook in a cafeteria.

Now, I have been invited to be a contributor on a cooking blog that my friend started called Saltbox House Cooking Exchange. I've only posted two recipes so far, but I still want to invite you all to go check out the blog whenever you need some ideas on what to cook for dinner. There are some good recipes on there.

Just today I posted a recipe for an old fashioned soda; a lime freeze. I made up the recipe (didn't invent the dessert, though) and I'm pretty pleased with it. It tastes pretty close to the real thing. It is tasty treat, even when it's cold and snowy outside. Go check it out!