Sometimes, as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, I replay the events of the day. Sometimes, I get the giggles when I think of silly things the boys do or say. This was one of them: We were headed toward the kitchen to get a bedtime snack for the boys when out of nowhere Owen shoved Drew. I was so surprised. I think Drew was, too. Though Owen put a lot of effort into it, Drew didn't fall or anything; Owen isn't very good at being a tough guy (unfortunately, he's been practising more as of late, but he's still not real tough) and didn't aim well enough to have any major force.
Surprised as I was, I couldn't just let it slide. I told Owen to apologise to Drew, then go back to his room, sans snack. Owen yelled, "Time out!" and ran for the stairs (when cousin Westley gets sent to time out--which happens a lot--he sits on the bottom step and folds his arms. I don't usually do time outs because I have yet to witness the effectiveness, but sometimes Drew and Owen will sit themselves on the bottom step and say they're in time out). I grabbed Owen and told him, "Before you go anywhere, you need to apologise to Drew. Then I want you to go to your room." That made Owen mad. He started thrashing around trying to escape my grasp. When he realised there was no escape, he gritted his teeth and said, "I sorry. Drew." He continued to thrash and yell, "Time out!" as I hauled him off to his room. I realise that sending Owen to his room is a form of time out, but it's not the time out on-the-steps-where-you-can-still-make-faces-and-antagonize-everybody. So it wasn't the time out Owen was hoping for. And I still chuckle to myself when I think about how mad he was that I wouldn't let him go to time out.
2 comments:
Oh Heather,
Thank you for being I believe, the only other human in existance who also sees the complete inappropriateness of the ever so popular "time out." Yes, exclusion to a persons bedroom without snack as you mention is very much effective but I love that you pinpointed the time out on the stair in the same room as to antagonize THE ENTIRE FAMILY!!! Good observation and a high five from me! Keep up the good work.
Abby
Not that your post was about this, but here's a thought: have you guys ever tried "positive" time outs? I read about them in the Positive Discipline series and they really worked for our oldest. Instead of telling the child they are naughty and making them sit for two minutes and bug the entire family, you put them in a comfortable place where they are alone and can calm down (like their bedroom or crib). You tell them why their behavior was inappropriate and that they may come out when they are ready to make it right. We've tried it on kid number two and she seems to respond pretty well to it--although I think she mostly does it for attention. After awhile our oldest started putting herself in time out when she felt inappropriate behavoir starting. I also like this system because then I get to put myself in time out when I feel like acting inappropriately and, let's be honest, what mother doesn't need a time out? :)
Laura
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