The Terrible Drews

I've heard that the Terrible Twos come on suddenly, last for one to two years and leave suddenly. In our case, they certainly did arrive suddenly. I hope they don't last long; in fact, it would be nice if they suddenly left, say, by the time Drew wakes up from his nap.

Drew has always been a pretty demanding kid, and he's always been a little bi-polar. Happy one second, throwing a fit the next, then suddenly happy again. The last few days, though, have been out of control. I should start with the positive things: Drew has been very polite lately, saying "please" and "thank you," many times without being prompted. But be warned; if he says "please" more than once and you don't give him what he wants, he'll drop to the floor and kick and scream, loudly. This part is easy for me to ignore. But sometimes he takes his wrath out on others. That is unacceptable.

When we got back from the store today, he threw a fit once we got into the house. It didn't last long, and soon he was running around playing again. When he tried to run out the front door, I told him No. He turned around and started bawling. Then he walked over to the dog and smacked him in the nose. He got sent to his room for that. David waited til he was done screaming, then asked him to apologise to Vito. Drew refused, so he had to stay in there. Finally, he stopped screaming and apologised to Vito. I let him out, and as we were walking toward the hallway, Drew shoved his bedroom door into Owen (with no apparent reason), thus knocking Owen into the door jam and onto the floor. So he had to stay in his room. He finally went down for a nap, but still refuses to apologise to Owen.

I feel quite blessed that Owen's Twos aren't quite as Terrible as Drew's. He has his moments of tantrums and crying, but he's never hit or bit anyone. I hope it stays that way. I don't think I can handle two kids acting up to that extent.

For me, the hardest part about being a parent is being consistent. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to give the appropriate discipline for misbehavior. And sometimes it's tricky to coordinate with David on which things should be punished and which things shouldn't. Turns out he's a little stricter than I am. Also difficult for me is coming up with the appropriate discipline to begin with. I've read all kinds of books, most of which claim their methods work for kids age 2 to 12, but upon reading I discover they're really for school age kids. Two books that I have liked are 1-2-3 Magic, and The New Dare to Discipline.

The first book involves counting to 3 when your kid is doing something you want them to stop. I like it because it usually works; I usually only get to 2 and the kids shape up so I don't actually have to deliver a punishment.

The second book I like because the author talks a lot about setting boundaries and enforcing them; kids feel safe with boundaries. He also talks about loving discipline. After you reprimand or even punish your kid, you show an increase of love. I'm not actually finished reading this book, but I really like it so far.

So this is where we're at right now. Some days it's more rough than others, and I'm learning that if I handle things correctly, I can keep the tantrums under a decent amount of control until the kids grow out of it (by which point Samantha will probably be getting into the phase).